Thursday, 11 May 2006

they would love their children too, if they had any

Have you remarked upon the curious breed of charity spruikers on the CBD streets these days? I have to you several times no doubt but would like to make it official and blog it.

I guess they are generally backpackers but that isn’t what is curious about them it’s their technique.

It is the wacky, crazy, zany and “nozin’ about”/countdown revolution/vjay methodology employed to get your attention and give em money. Who’d want to give money, no matter how worthy the cause, don't talk to me about the bigger picture, sonny jim, to some cretin who yells huwo and cutely waves his/her hand in your face, obstructs your path and comments on your appearance, yes , they were Bozo the clown’s shoes, like big deal, ok, and even 40 year olds get the odd pimple, ok, you reply as you elbow spruiker in belly and petulantly punch collection bucket, bruising your knuckles as you flounce past in the most dignified of fashions.

I haven’t seen a Koala suited Wilderness Society one for a long time. The last time I did, I witnessed a former star of the Sullivans shoving Koala away and telling it to “get stuffed”. Uncle Harry had become Dirty Harry . Hey, I’m not one to ttattle, judge, never, but let’s just say the reaction had no doubt been heightened by the shock of Aunty Rose’s death 50 years earlier.

These modern day fund raising methods while being rather irritating and annoying are somewhat counterproductive.

So let's just press pause for a moment. There has to be a more successful technique to procure funds. Let's put on our de Bonos and think outside of the square, people.

Perhaps charity spruikers should dress up as the little Matchgirl, Oliver Twist or a sad mute clown. Or how about being dressed up as an enormous RIBBON, any colour.

The spruiker dressed as ribbon would have instant and enormous appeal and not require any extravagant behaviour to attract attention, people see a ribbon and immediately shell out the moolah.

It is well worth brainstorming at the next charity think tank sesh.

A problem blogged is a problem solved. At this rate i'll get the old Cointreau ball back up and running. Ciao Ciao dahlings.

1 comment:

boy said...

The Sierra Club, I have found, are unspeakably vicious. You are destroying the planet, they yell, and here I am in tears just trying to buy a juice.