Monday, 21 May 2012

Off the tweet

Robin Gibb has died and Aunty 24's report  after showing seconds of Bee Gees' film clips resorted to quoting tweets from John Prescott and Danni Minogue!  Danni quoted the theme song from the film Grease, i think that song  was written by Barry.

Friday, 27 April 2012

Transport parley

The new STA buses,  or perhaps there is only one which I am fortunate to catch most mornings to work, feature the most fabulously fat round STOP buttons that you press when you want to admonish the bus driver, dob in a fellow passenger, or even alight from Mr Jiggly Jiggly. These buttons are the size and shape  of yo-yos and are tomato sauce red with a yellow trim and I think S T O P is written in white on a red background. Very soothing and highly effective. Nifty, what.

When I have not been admiring these buttons, caressing them with my digits,  occasionally with my tongue; they do also resemble a lollypop/Wimpy burger, my focus in transit has been distracted by private transport, the rear windows and bumpers of cars, usually  some form of four wheel drive..  It would seem that The Baby on Board, Mum’s Taxi, Warning Nervy B Driver signs and stickers have been replaced, in fact, trumped by adhesive adornments that are even more nauseatingly self-congratulatory.  Yes,  I’ve finally noticed the “My family” stick figures stickers.

Oh the cult of the human and its tragic quest for further limelight hoggery, indivduality and validation. How much do these people and their faaaaamlies need?!   A rebate for lack of  awesomeness and being insufficiently surreal, I guess. Get a blog for cock's sake, that is what my bumper sticker sezIncidentally, i've twice seen the word  J E S U S in big spaced out letters plastered across a car's rear windscreen.  I'm not sure if it is in honour of that crazy, delusional prophet (possibly sane compared to Apostle Paul) or if it's just a means of communicating vexation with one's quotidian when in jaloppy.

Did you know that you could fit the entire Queensland ALP opposition in a station wagon or mini bus? And if there is a ruction, well, crumbs, five of them could squeeze into my modest little hatchback and the other two on a motorcycle and sidecar. Stylish but a rum state of affairs.

Thursday, 26 April 2012

Dude! (looks like a luvvy?)

I have just spent the past ten minutes searching the office kitchen shelves and cupboards for my coffee cup. While I was not quite having the usual yelping nervy b as when looking for keys, tops and shoes -  I am in public bel mode, after all,  I was rather puzzled, not to mention choked from supressing nervy b yelps and groans. Imagine my surprise  , get set for wawawaaaaaa sound effect when I found cup (don’t worry it doesn’t have “you don’t have to be made to work here but it helps..” written on it (cup is not THAT big) on my desk concealed by briefing papers  that were vertically propped  against cup.

In other news: Seal and Delta?!! Leanne Edelsten and Clive James?!! Luvvies and me.  Who said the naughties were over?!? and one more for effect,  ooh, ah,  ! yeah

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

of all the gin joints

When there are six cubicles in a public latrine, five of which are vacant, why on earth would ANYONE choose to take the cubicle that IS directly beside the occupied cubicle. WHY?

 Who are these needy people?! Why have they no sense of proivacy, prickliness or prudishness?! Granted there is NO NEED to ask who the uptight person/people is/are (oh the conjugational bliss of such an inclusive exclamation)! I just cannot understand  or abide it. This was too long for twitter.

Thursday, 2 February 2012

Life Coach!!

Have you ever recruited one? Have you ever wanted to be one? Foolish questions I know. After all it’s the desire of any sentient being in this the 21st century and in the top ten of your bucket list - that's a given. In the 1980's, however, the concept was off the wall.

Those who know the mistress, and you sweet little poppets who read this blog, are aware that she has had a checkered career (more technicolour than black and white but nevertheless CHECK-ERRED). Therefore it will come as no surprise to learn that the mistress was one of the world’s first life coaches. However in the olden days, the early 1980's to be precise, I was known as a motivator, the motivator once my powers of persuasive encouragement (not manipulation I swear) became renowned. (These days we say “went viral” – couldn’t say it back then because of the herpes and whatnot but nowadays having herpes is a vadge of honour going by the personal blogs on the Fairfax Press webpage; looking forward to Gina Rinehart's take).

Truth be told my success as a motivator/life coach was courtesy of Brian. You might recall Brian, my old friend the autodidact-come-municipal council librarian; I used to talk about him during the early throes of my love affair with the blogosphere. Brian and I have been feuding, i.e. not talking, for the past 2-3 years. Needless to say our capers in coventry have caused our mutual friends much awkwardness at self-actualisation workshops, parties, wakes and the like. Regardless, we are never to be reconciled. What happened between us I cannot divulge.  All I can say is what happens in the Shire stays in the Shire.

Still credit where credit’s due has always been the Mistress’s motto and it’s thanks to Brian that I met Rick at a pyramid wealth seminar.

Rick was an amazing motivational speaker and a masterful TAFE teacher. I enrolled in his TAFE Motivator Course – “Choose Life”, and yes,  Rick was bitter about the boys from Wham an' all but he let it go and props to him, I say.  One day I’ll do his Saturday CBT sessions and rid myself of this cockin’ hairshirt but not quite yet for I’ve become accustomed to its weight.

Choose Life was a sensational course and Rick empowered me with the confidence to set forth and track down some apathetic souls and get ‘em going. My first port of call was a Rock against Work lunchtime gig....

Monday, 2 January 2012

wordy go go

This morning's All things considered program featured  the Lake Superior State University 2012  list of words and phrases to be banished from English due to "overuse, misuse and general uselessness" (or is that Jerri Blank's description of her life on the streets?).

Here is a list of words and phrases  that have been causing hornet rose here to tut, rick her neck or fume when eavesdropping, listening to the wireless or watching the television.

period of time




at the end of the day

it is what it is

awesome (or perhaps that is now extinct, well, only used by French nationals during  facebook frenzy updates. Here's hoping).