Sunday, 25 January 2009

Silver Screen memories

I have been to the cinema three times this week!! That is what it's like being an adult you can have bulk school holiday treats without going to school, except you have to work so you can pay (ohwuh).

Oh well, all three films were really good. I reckon Frost and Nixon was the best. Frank Langella was brilliant. He should win the Oscar but I guess Jelena Dokic will. Michael Sheen as Frost was good but at times he seemed like a caricature crossed with a successful Alan Partridge meets Austin Powers - or perhaps that's how Frosty is/was. I would have thought DF was too smarmy, shrewd and ambitious to be that much of a smirking twit. Still i suspect that the last time i thought about David Frost I was nine years old and it was his voice that struck me - yes i've been attemptin' to talk like him ever since ; unfortunately i sound more like Robin Leach. Catastrophe.

You should see the movie on the silver screen rather than the plasma.

Anyway i have to go now and buy some Olympic stripe exercise books as la grand rentree approaches.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

MIckey Rourke Meltdown

Well, no, of course not! Can't claim to have tasted major success or hit rockbottom (well, it's all relative, sugar) but it's just that it has been sooooo hot for the past 5 days that every day i feel like a little bit of myself has melted and gone further askew.

41 today in the blinking harbour city.

Mental. Indeed i was.

What was i to do to combat this infernal heat? The boxfan was providing no relief. The swimming didn't really help - the sun's light was still bald, its heat still blistering. And i couldn't send myself off to the cinema two days in a row - too extravagant and totaly unGFC. So i took myself down to Circular Quay to take a round trip on the ferry throughout the inner harbour. A brainwave that had also occurred to a group of twenty Seniors. My first and last matooer thought.

Oh mate. Those seniors were going off. Big time. They weren't wearing red hats but lord ... If they didn't come and sit right next to you, practically atop your lap, they were dancing about comparing scars from open heart and knee replacement surgery, jigging up and down to demonstrate how one leg was shorter than the other. Knees up mother Brown (as interpreted by Herman's Hermits).

Keyed up at the Quay and oh so soigne!

Yes, it was hot, heat happens, man, and yes, it was sticky but lllady do not roll down your singlet just below your breastline and expose your turquoise bra to all , even if it does match your bobbysocks and you are carrying a handbag that features a photo of Audrey Hepburn. No, you cannot, must not and will not. It is completely against the law.

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Bumps and eye bruises

One's return flight to Sydney was rife with turbulance, veiled nervy b's and a skitterish bumpy landing that provoked an expletive to be exclaimed and embarrassment to ensue.

However the most curious spectacle occurred on land in the transit lounge prior to embarkation. "Take a chance on me'' was playing in the background while i read a book. Despite my managing to block out the sound my focus was broken by some jiggling movement in front of me.

I raised my head and directly before me was a pair of buttocks, covered in a linen cotton blend - should have been gabardine, being flexed and crunched in time to the music, while its owner tapped her fingers against the airline's counter. Most remarkable was that the flexing of buttocks was alternated, the left would jut backwards while the right remained still then righty's turn to flex while etc., which i guess further defines alternate...

A fascinatingly gruesome dance. Possibly a tribute to Agnetha, who was once deemed to have the world's sexiest bottom , well Agnetha as interpreted by Kath Day-Knight.

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Carry on at your convenience

Apparently toilet cisterns no longer feature ball cocks. Well that's what the plumber just told me. Being of an unquesting but whimsical mind i didn't enquire what had replaced them but chose to wonder why that carry on film about a toilet factory didn't make many jokes about ball cocks. Life is full of wasted opportunities but not in 2009.

Tuesday, 13 January 2009


Well hello dollies.

D'you know what? i have been gadding about so much that i cannot help but feel a bit like a liz taylor jetsetting character in an airport movie - sporting a divine snow white swing coat with fur trimmed hood all the while hamming it up and trilling a few goddamnits to a stella cast of silver screen has-beens (no offence, good friends, but your halcyon days have passed, whereas mine, why i've just rejoined facebook so my life has taken a whole new flavour - desperation).

The roadshow began on 22 December:Hobart, Sydney, Mt Victoria, Bathurst, Blayney and Milthorpe. Celebratin' messiahs' birthdays, boxing day sales, new years, 18ths and the GFC. Then last Tuesday i set forth for good time centrale, melbournia ...(dear popular culture illiterate in this instance "... " signifies the commencement of romper room psychedelia swirls within empty stringless raquet face).

I was flying Jetstar International from Syd to Mel Bourne's Tullamarine. It was a cheap ticket and at the time of making the reservation my inner constable care cautioned that there would be a price to pay for not paying ; i thought that my luggage would be sent to Dengpasar or Deniliquin. Tuh huh. Never in my wildest dreams did i expect to: see Paris Hilton and her nbff; get trapped in a landed plane because the tallowbridge was broke; and endure an aeroplane voyage from syd to mel that would last 5 goddamn hours.

However, it is all true and yes, it happened to me, and if you're lucky, pumpkin, it will be something you'll only hear about! For further details facebook me.

Monday, 12 January 2009

Charlie Girl

Happy newie, nsrs.

Oh what a whirl the old bel gel has dervished since she began her V A C A T I O N in the summer sun. A veritable roadshow, sans buckets of rose petals and cherry pickers but plenty of good times, natch. Am currently touring rural and regional Victoria and just across her stateline, where the heat is dry and delicious and my Marie Antoinette tapestry fan indispensible.

I have to get back on the road NOW but will fill you in from the very beginning soon.