Things that matter #2010

Don’t worry, NSRs, despite the tedious, sick-makingly banal, underwhelming and terribly depressing nature of this current federal election campaign I have not gone ‘crazy’ (as Nicola Roxon dubbed the Libs' mental health policy several weeks ago) and begun hankering for the days of Leggy Lexie Downer.

But between you and me, the whole federal election campaign caper is a goddamn downer and a half. .

It’s a given that the Liberals are ghastly and the prospect of their ascent is vile. Oh and speaking of “givens”, it feels at times that the whole campaign is being run from Fountainlakesgate mall; Tony getting his huffy puffy work-outs en velo or sluggo and Julia’s redundant self important language and delivery, exclaiming over morsels of food (“oh I do love a Daaaaaaaaanish” (pastry not shortbread - go figure?!), booming “Hello, hello”” to voters, not to mention then hugging and patting the poor sods’ backs.
Furthermore I don’t need to join a fucking group on Facebook to declare that I’m not voting Liberal on 21 August 2010, see mystery is my middle name decree 1981.

May I just say, Kerry, that it is the cynical, desperate, pathetic, floundering  Labor campaign and behaviour of that party's key pollies whcih gets on my goat, I mean, fills me with utter despair. It's causing me more angst and fury than Facebook has EVER achieved.

The woeful strategies undertaken by the Prime Minister to garner popular appeal are like those of a lover in denial about the demise of a once fun and passionate affair. She's trying to rekindle the romance with actions and expressions that once sparked but are now soggy – you know brilliant bons mots such as "game on" , those gritty and hilarious from-the-heart footy analogies, countless makeovers, continually compromising and lacking any conviction, oh  the capitulations, and then there are the  declarations of the “real Julia",  no doubt inspired after a lovely bit of woine toime. Christ wouldn't  it be diabolical to be in the position of having to extricate oneself from a relationship with someone like this.  Oh it's a Smokey Robinson song just waiting to be written.

However there is a ltille ray of sunshine for NSW folk, we  need not worry about the Senate, we can like totally chillax yet take a stand for Cheryl Kernot has thrown her hat into the ring - "Change Politics!" as inspiring as "Wake up Australia."

Anyway I have gotta dash, that spell of retirement to spend more quality time with an Australian faaaaamily (they were pretty nice put me up in the granny flat)  has taken it's toll. I've become so consumed with bile (oh their haspirations did me in, not to menton  the r/c air cond. breaking and the loss of my big toe to the hot tub's jet nozzle) I've got a gall bladder operation scheduled  for this afternoon. It'll be the fight of my life.