Monday, 5 April 2010

"Just step off, George" #2046

 I always feel extreme trepidation when  I pass a bicyclist while driving. The vulnerable but arrogant road rule breaking blighters terrify me more than the Daleks did.

Despite my irritation at their not following the road rules yet bleating on about their rights, i have no Askinesque aspirations to run em over, always exercise the utmost caution and am mightily relieved once i've passed the rotter without incident. I give me props.

Acceptance and compromise, are, after all, part of the social contract. Let's face it NSRs, Renee Russo's philosophy has never been more relevant to me since, at the age of 83,  I was awarded a provisional licence to beetle about the world's roads,  particularly at this point in time during the holiest of holidays,  the Pascall Passiona Fest.

Nonetheless i felt that my acceptance and goodwill to humanity were spent come Saturday afternoon  following a motoring excursion about Leichhardt.

Firstly in the shopping centre car park as I strolled back with trolley to my car, i was stalked by two cars desperate for a park. AAAAAaargh. Great pushy insensate unthinking C O N K S.

I duly directed one of  them to  a vacant spot that I'd espied while trolley strolling. The second DUELLIST waited behind my car as i unloaded my shopping and then tooted me when I left the vehicle to return the trolley. I smiled broadly at the pushy article and scratched my nose with my middle digit - subtle, eh..

My version of a tanty in the temple.

Secondly while motoring back to the mansions an oncoming goddamn bicyclist weaved his way towards moi because the great galoot was texting as he cycled. Christ on a bike! Well he clearly thought he was. Perhaps he could get a nice little sticker for his paniers - I text and I cycle.

Jeepin' Jensens was right -  the cycling society is the undoing of  human civilisation as we know it.

7 comments:

cusack said...

I text mostly in the hot tub

cusack said...

I text mostly in the hot tub

David said...

I text from under a shower of piss

Mistress Bel said...

Warnie teach you that technique? Reserve that kind of prurient parley for your Boastbook status updates. Don't soil this world wide web page.

David said...

please tell us more

Anonymous said...

all well and good but drivers are texting ALL the time; cycle texters are a little less common, hein?

Mistress Bel said...

Dear Hein, all the more reason to note it. And anothery thing two types of nong don't make a right.