G O R N E

Kyle Sandilands, the social contract, and now the Annette Kellerman swimming pool at Enmore Park. All GORNE.

I was walking through the park when I saw that the AK swimming pool had been completely demolished. Yes, not a skerrick of the complex remains, not even the scent of hot chips fried in ancient batter.

Between you and me, nsrs, i used to love doing the aqua aerobics at the AK pool. It was quite the workout (as we used to say in the 80's) and required intense concentration. Generally i'd focus on a cracked tile or some peeling paint when peforming some particularly grunty bumps and grinds while straddling that ridiculous and rather lewd noodle.

However, one day, when attempting a difficult twist while treading water, my focus fell on a person outside the pool. This human on the periphery puzzled me until I realised that it was actually a right on singer from an early 80' indie band. Unfortunately she was in my direct line of focus, and I couldn't retract my gaze. Worse she noticed me; i blame my bathing cap festooned with flowers. And double worse, back in the day things had been kind of, um, silly fractious between us. Hard to imagine, i know dot dot dot

In truth it was due to my youthful exuberance, well, general loudmouthery and mimicry of her buzz words and gestures - I told you that the social contract had gorne! Anyhoo I couldn't stop looking and then one by one more people came to her side, her friends, and they were all looking at me and talking as I continued to stare at her. I couldn't avert my eyes until the exercise finished. Eventually the class ended and I had to leave the centre. It was dark and I was rather worried that her posse would pounce on me. They didn't for they had GORNE.

Enough of my Busby Berkeley meets film noir aqua follies....

The old AK pool is making way for big new super deluxe aquatic centre. In the mean time one can bathe and do aqua aerobics at the Fanny Durack pool (she was apparently distantly related to Mary so it's not completely mindless of me to think Kings in Grass Castles, Kings in Grass Castles did i ever finish reading, Kings in Grass Castles? each time i think of that pool, so there!).

However, I won't go there for I prefer the Victoria Park swimming pool, open and long in lovely surrounds . I do worry about contracting aviance, er, avian flu - a lot of birdie business about there. But oh well if you don't take any risks in life you reap nothing. Well ,that's the quote on the foot of my desk calendar for today's date; it's attributed to Leanne Edelsten, who is these days best known as Jennifer Hawkins's mum.