News stew

Look, promise not channelling Malcolm Fraser, I know that there are a lot more pressing and devastating issues but i have to table the following vatuous and facuous items, oh perhaps i yam.

Charlotte Glennie - The gel's news reports are fahne in content but glory the gel's voice; is she the love child of Lexie Downer and Christopher Pahne!?! Enunciation is important, and it's important to pronunciate clearly (to quote Tina Arena as Idol 2008 Special Guest Judge) but i cannot go for those fancy alleged refahned dipthongs, fricking no can do. Daryl Hall looks so old these days, oh don't we all. Bonjour Tristesse. Anyway i wikied the gel (Glennie not Sagan) and she is not from Addles but NZ probably Auckland and an award winning journalist (no Logie equvivalent but something akin to the Walkleys, still better than nothing i guess...) She needs to flatten her vowels though, it's all too terrribly finishing school and 1950's. I do love a clipped consonant though , love a sharp t. Baby!

Sydney Morning Herald - LOATHE the majority of its 'reportage' which is worse than the Mercury cos (ooh so 70's rock journo) at least that rag doesn't have any hairs and graces about being a quality broadsheet. ooh i would not mind some quality street chocolates, been a while, i loved those toffee squares with the red and cream crest wrapping - Chew-wee! And of course no better than the Daily Telegraph. Sensationarama. Before the terrible bushfires happened in Victoria, the Herald appeared to be miffed about missing out on the heatwaves in SA and Vic. So just before that tragic, awful and horrendous weekend, it had all these outrageous predictions about what could happen in Sydney over the weekend as it could hit 42 in Penrith. Train lines could buckle, seniors could die (call me cynical but think there's high chance irrespective of extreme temperatures) and there'd be massive bushfires akin to the Sydney 1994 ones. Outrageous and lame-O. It took the online smh service ages to cover the actual horror in Victoria. It was a disgrace. I really do think the paper was peeved. Since the horrific fires the paper has continued the sensationalism about possible nightmare situation in NSW. Grotesque.

Kerry O'Brien - No complaints, love and adore, but i often ponder your ears. They are so big, so long. How old are you? And do you use some kind of Clairol rinse to freshen your hair's color. ( i said Clairol so i think i should use US spelling and i rather like that spelling. Props to meeeeeeee.)

Juanita Phillips not Mick and Papa John's love child or a track from Black and Blue but the ABC 1 newsreader, Monday-Friday. Lady, what's your game? You do all that fancy pronunciation, and then it slips and you start saying coast in the most cosiest of fashions, cohhhst.. And you become quite the coquette with the weatherman. Thanks, Graham - INDEED. Settle pet, and Wake Up, Patti.

Alan Kohler - The Warwick Hadfield of Finance reporting on ABC 1 News. Ugh. SMUG. Bring back Phillip Lasker.

And i won't even go on about the Peter Wilkinson and his sports presentation. Utterly Kath Day-Knight but without the biting yumour.

Yep over and opinionated out. Gotta dash. Got tap class.

I am curious marshmallow

On Saturday evening I caught the ferry to the Quay. The atmosphere was magical on the harbour and the water looked black, sparkly and kind of gelatinous. I had an overwhelming urge to throw myself from the deck into the harbour and see what would happen. I wondered if i could swim to Fort Denison without incurring harm. Fortunately common sense prevailed. Several days later a shark attacked a diver in the harbour.

It wasn’t me, Miss

Glory the lifts at work have pretty much become more contentious than the old dunoir.

The foyeh and her lifts currently reek of old sweat, opposed to that lovely new sweet smelling sweat, well you know what I mean - it’s stale, it’s pungent, it’s totally present and overpowering (no, that is not my cyberspace profile!).

I just enjoyed a spell in that den of malodour. My solo passage from the 7th floor to the ground was broken by the arrival of another passenger. She sniffed the air and then looked askance at me, or perhaps she caught her reflection in the lift's mirror. I swear that the only scent wafting from me is l’air du temps, perhaps with just a soupcon of vinegar. I didn’t pong out the lifts. Oh get. I didn’t. And with that I