"comfy undies"

Call me uptight but every time i see that poster of Pat Cash, er, Rafter, oh how long have i been traipsing this earth, promoting Chesty Bond's underpants with the testimony that they are comfy, i get irritated. Imagine a world-class sweetheart such as i feeling such an emotion. Well it has happened and the concept of comfy undies has done it, sweet nsrs, all three of you, and yes, i do mind that i do not have global appeal.

I find the associated slogan displeasing not because i want my brothers and sisters, mums and daddies, to suffer discomfort and sport full briefs with loose elastic or knickers that have a tendency to seek domicile in the crack but because each time i read or hear that comfy undies' slogan i feel that Pat is sportin' underpants that have a distinct fart-like quality.

And woah, just stop there, you budding shrinkaramas and pop psychologists, I am not projecting. I most certainly do not a equate a pair of comfortable fitting underpants with fartpants. My beef with the slogan principally lies with the combination of an abbreviated adjective and an abbreviated noun. It's too smug , cute, self-congratulatory, gotta love our lingo, and is as coy as that catchcry promoting the eating of lamb, mum's cooking a lamb roast tonight. cosy. ugh.

Permission to spin out further.

What is with all those b grade starlets and lingerie lines. When will it stop? Only the other day, while having my hairs tinted at Rodney's hair salon, i read that jade jezebel scarlett jagger, mmm what message were mick n bianca trying to convey, had launched a line. This actually makes her a c grade starlet really, although she'd claim to be rockstocracy but you know, same diff, as most b's have their own line of perfume these days , and a's endorse skin care products, direct theatre companies and smile beatifically on red carpets, in playgrounds while festooned with kiddies or in foreign lands on kiddie adopting sprees.

tripping over is on tonight and that will soothe me no end.

Love you, and i'm talking to you, Huey, Dewey and Louie .